It seem pretty hard when you have totally forgotten how good it is to be real, rather than masked up, bottling up all raging emotion. When you have forgotten how to be pretty happy with yourself and people around but all you get from yourself is all fake emotion, covering up the pain from the past.

The feeling of being down casted and not being as whole as you out to have eaten deep down me for some period of time, not knowing how to feel alive again and Whole as one as one life is eating itself up. That feeling is always unbearable and you know the feeling of self loathe taking it place in your soul not giving yourself that breaking point needed, Yeah, that was what I felt.

You that thing you can’t relate to how you are supposed to be feeling actually, doubting what I really felt, you know having worn that mask for too long and people begin to relate the masked person as the real You. They don’t really know who you truly are but they only know what they see and sometimes you don’t even know yourself, Yeah I have completely forgotten about myself but it was too late when I realized it.

When I finally realized the masked person isn’t me, it really hurt after finding out who is really beneath the mask worn by me, like I don’t know how to feel, angry at everything cause I didn’t get what I really want and nobody understood, nobody did and it made me angry the more because I wanted people to figure out me for me, which is impossible, clearly it is.

I figured nobody can figure out you only if you figure out yourself, living just I anger and hurt doesn’t solve anything, if not it increases the fire burning, being scared, terrified and unhappy would not help figure out, for some time I felt I would burst out cause of all the emotions felt within and would be satisfied with that but it never happened, the emotions were there, it was terrifying and overwhelming.

One thing I came to notice I that, feeling bad for a long while won’t make you feel any better, I just had to walk away, it was hard at first but that was the best thing I ever did for myself, walking away for the anger and hurt, leaving it behind and not dragging a single guilt of it along with me. What I would have done in a long while but nothing is ever late so far you are trying to make the best out of, making your happiness priority is one way having a fulfilled life.

Most of us make such mistake of masking our emotion and we are laced with anger, and these emotions make us forget where we really belong to, where we are supposed to be at and making us lose sight of greater things that is coming our way, cause we have forgetting the real us, we have lost ourselves inside us, and it take a while to revive that good person we were.

It all takes determination to forfeit the hurting past and make ourselves a good one, most time we don’t need people to find out who we are for us, we know who we are but we are yet to realize it and that power is what we need to bring out, let the power fight it way through, let no mask keep us hidden for long. Stand up for who we are and not what they said we are. 

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